Splashy The Blame-Shifter - Size Matters

Everyone thinks of 7”s differently – the perfect format for a pure pop hit, the cheapest way to check out two bands for the price of one (pre-internet, anyway), a classy option for getting your demo/oddball ideas out there, throwaway shit destined for the charity shops, or the first place to go hunting for lost/hidden gems. 

This mix tries to fit all of that into 50 minutes.  From drugged minimal synth abuse, unearthly Mauritian psych and wild lo-fi sax action to unlikely Top Ten chart smashes, a Roland Rat record and Italian punks singing about sanitary towels, you’re never in the same place for long.  Size Matters sums up everything that’s fascinating, infuriating and totally unpredictable about spending an extended period of time with nothing but a box of singles.

Scroll down for a full visual tracklist.  Some songs get played out in their entirety, some only hang around for a few seconds, and a good few make more than one appearance – after all, there’s a wealth of sample gold in grindcore splits and language lesson records alike!

Lincoln Love Log – Chorizo (2007)

Lifted from the shittier half of a pretty shit split with Intestinal Disgorge, 

who I usually have an embarrassing soft spot for.   

On the list of my prouder affections are boiled German sausages, sweet mustard 

and horror movie samples used as intros for just about anything.

Hairy Diamond – Education (2000)

Came across this in my box one day, and my fiancée thinks it might be hers.  

DJ tool hell that only a price tag can justify, but it makes it sound like I can scratch.  

Which I can’t. 

The Residents – Constantinople (1978)

The best 7”s are usually either pure pop fodder or totally mangled wipe-outs.  

This one is both.  The Residents, eh? 

Kevin The Gerbil – Hawaiian Holiday (1984)

The cheapest bit of vinyl I own.  49 pence from Glasgow’s Oxfam Music.  

Years of contact mic/fork torture have been surprisingly kind to it.  

The Flying Lizards – Money (1979)

Much like The Residents, these guys sit on the fence and get no splinters.  

A bass playing the beat, a piano full of ashtrays and a big fuck you to Thatcher.  

God only knows what Barrett Strong thought, but it did make it onto Top Of The Pops.  

Number 5, no less.  Heady days. 

Noam Chomsky – Political Analysis (1991)

Old Noam keeping us up to speed on Iraq.  My favourite hardcore b-side ever.  

Hats off to Bad Religion – a total stroke of genius.

Muriel Young – Tabitha's Terrible Day (1966)

More Oxfam dross.

Rotten Masters – Tomorrow’s Story (2012)

Drum machine Discharge worship from Richard Youngs and Andrew Paine 

that comes on like an AmRep industrial ballad.  The first vinyl outing from the great Sonic Oyster label, 

and quite possibly Richard’s first ever fuck.  A keeper. 

Lincoln Love Log – Now Your BBQ (2007)

More grindcore horror hysteria.  

The best movie samples usually come from the worst bands, and this is no exception.

Years On Earth – My Death Waits (1979/2012)

Inexplicably overlooked UK bedsit minimalism.  As late-night-loner as they come, 

Years On Earth had one eye on the whole TG/Coil/NWW axis and one eye on the door.  

Vinyl-On-Demand did a great job getting the word out, despite their usual tracklist hatchet job.

Wolf Freesler – Your Holiday German (1962)

Those language lesson records are useless for anything other than sampling.  
Everyone knows it.

Arthur Doyle & Rudolph Grey – Ghosts II, Part One (1980/2010)

After hearing Noah Howard’s Black Ark, I had to track down as much as I could 

by everyone involved.  One of those records.  And Arthur threw the gauntlet down like no one else.  

He’s at his best on his own, and Rudolph Grey could have just as easily sat this one out.  

Blowing down a Blue Human - no mean feat.

Junko & Michel Henritzi – Berlin, With Love (2013)

I’ve only ever heard the queen of Japanese minimalism working at her day job (Hijokaiden) 

or in the company of stony-faced conceptualists with too many books on political theory (Mattin), 

so this is a real treat.  Any Junko performance is going to be an emotional highwire walk, 

but this one goes straight for the heart strings and holds on tight.  

She’s basically been doing the same thing for 30-odd years and it hasn’t worn thin yet.  True romance.

Wolf Freesler – Your Holiday German (1962)

Endless treats on offer here.  It’ll crop up again, too.

Bruce Russell & John Wiese – California Front (2006)

Mail collaborations are usually a bit of flop, but this is dream-team territory.  

If only Wiese could get his fingers into The Dead C.  Bruce, if you’re reading… 

LVMM – Fever (2011)

Ultra Eczema have put out more single-song cover compilations than anyone needs 

(three to date – Popcorn, La Bamba and this one), but they’re always worth a look.  

This is the straightest cut by far, and it makes me think of striped shirts and sticky floors, 

but it’s pretty hard to resist.  A bonus 7” always goes down easy, too.    

Hairy Diamond – Education (2000)

That name has always grossed me out.

   

Lincoln Love Log – Now Your BBQ (2007) 

I don’t have many singles with spoken word samples on them, as you can probably tell.  

And only one packing a good scream.

Bruce Russell & John Wiese – California Front (2006)

Not many noise singles, either.

Wolf Fressler – Your Holiday German (1966) 

Who buys these things?

Tampax – Tampax (In The Cunt) (1979/2010)

As far as band names go, this one’s right up there.  Their side of the Hitler SS split 

was recorded in 15 minutes, and it shows.  A truly horrific guitar sound, pure rhythmic slop, 

a bassist on the brink and a throat-full of bloody contempt – pretty much the ultimate punk 45.

Patrick Fitzgerald – Safety Pin Stuck In My Heart (1977)

Unplugged punks are a grim proposition.  Still, this is worth sitting on the floor for.  

Not sure if it’s about domestic abuse or if it’s a genuinely honest, heartfelt love song, 

but what does that matter?  His rarely-mentioned full-length masterpiece, Gifts And Telegrams, 

is a whole other spoonful of sour and should be sitting on every record shelf out there.  

The world’s a funny place, though. 

Anne Bean & P.D. Burwell – Low Flying Aircraft (1979/2007)

Off-the-radar UK DIY made by an instrument builder and a performance artist 

with a serious jones for Burroughs.  Once they added a sculptor to the line-up, I got sceptical, 

but this is austere dancefloor experimentalism at an all-time high (in every sense).   

Timmy’s Organism – Toes In The Grass (2009)

I’m a sucker for a gatefold double 7”, but who isn’t?  Luckily, most of the music lives up to the marketing.
It’s the solo project of Timmy Vulgar of Clone Defects/Human Eye, so there’s a fair amount 

of disposable oddball garage on the go.  When the synths light up, though, 

you know you’ve picked a winner.

Karen Novotny X – Future On (1979/2010)

The story goes that these guys are first wave electro industrialists who recorded a bunch of tunes 

on Chris Carter’s gear, then just walked away.  30 years later, it all came tumbling out.  A nice idea,
although the Photoshopped gig fliers and high-end production job (more obvious on the superb full-length)
make it all seem a bit Jurassic Park.  Quite a tale, but there’s no hiding those holes.

Keith Fullerton Whitman – 

Variations For Oud and Synthesiser (2010)

I’d love to hear more 7”s from Keith.  Forced to shape his sprawling modular splatter 

into something more succinct, the end result here is a masterclass in concept, 

artwork and facial hair execution.  And it sounds great, too.  A white label labour of love, 

where everything just seems to click.  Shame I used so little of it.

Aaron Dilloway – A Funeral With Music (2009)

Noise goon turned 8-track architect, this former Wolf Eye has thrown up some of the finest long-form, 
time-killing minimalism of the last few years.  And his shorter shots are worth a go, too.  
His take on the Lucifer Rising soundtrack is what to pop for, 
but I’ve still got plenty of time for this one.  Again, blink and you'll miss it. 

Silvia Kastel – Take It (2012)

Refreshingly severe minimal wave from one half of the slightly over-sold Control Unit.  

The whole pre-set revivalist thing was dead before it started, and Silvia knows it.  

This is all blank space, carefully sculpted noise and the kind of snare sound you’d find 

on early Appleblim productions.  Who’s going to pass on that?

Noam Chomsky – Political Analysis (1991)

How could you not want more of that voice?

Pretty – Moustache In Your Face (1969/2012)

Not much to be said about this one, other than asking why it took over 40 fucking years 

for an official release to surface.  Psychedelic garage perfection.

Dawson – Biceps (Do You Wanna Feel Em) (1990)

Debut single from this wildly underappreciated Glasgow group.  

At their best, they could take the tight art-house horror of prime New York no wave 

and beat it into stunning hardcore pop.  At their worst, they were the greatest band in Glasgow.  

Seriously overdue on the reissue front.

Bruce Russell & John Wiese – California Front (2006)

Noise, noise, noise.

Lincoln Love Log – Now Your BBQ (2007) 

Getting pretty sick of the sight of this.  Last time around, though.

L’Orchestre Nationale de Mauritanie – La Mone (1973/2011) 

Mind-meltingly dosed Mauritian folk/psych, performed by the President’s official big band, 
produced in Beirut and written to ring in the country’s new independent currency (the Ouguiya) in 1973. 
This shit just does not happen any more.

Wolf Fressler – Your Holiday German (1966)

Mr Fressler asking that all-important question...

Horace – Waiting For The Moon (1971/2012)  

The sole recording from these loosely Atomic Rooster-related hash heads.  

If a less acidic Comus sounds like something you could soak in, then the heavy-duty gatefold, 

hand-drawn artwork and detailed liners should sway you as much as the sonics. 

Elti-Fits – Their Grip (1980)

It’s hard to find a drummer who hasn’t been in The Fall at some point, 

but if they played on Hex Enduction Hour, they’re worth hunting down - a theory borne out 

by this frustratingly under-sung stunner.  There’s a 7”, a Peel session and not much else, 

which only adds to the appeal, but that fantasy full-length still makes me sweat.

Amen Dunes – Ethio Song (2012)

Billed as Amen Dunes covering the songs of an unknown Ethiopian musician, 

this packs a heavy punch, despite the American indie-isms that shine through now and again.  

Full of all the shaking, ecstatic sorrow you could hope for.  More, please.

The Korgis – Waiting For Godot (1985) 

I love a good run-out groove, and grabbing one from this portentous mess of a record 
was the only way to go.  Without doubt, the sound of nothing there.